You make excuses… It’s too much money, it’s too risky, you don’t have time, you’re afraid, you’re too old, or too young… All I can say is don’t be reciting Whittier on your death bed “For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: ‘It might have been!’ “
You can’t say no… To your ex/brother/mother in law/whoever. Or perhaps you can’t say no to that drink. Or when someone offers you a cigarette, or puts on a movie that isn’t in line with your moral standards. If you never choose to be strong enough to stand up and say no, you will spend the rest of your life feeling an uncomfortable disconnect inside your soul. For some people, that disconnect leads to serious depression, plus life long mental, emotional or physical suffering.
You aren’t to blame- everyone else is… I believe the extent to which you fulfill your potential and live your dreams, depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your own life. When you blame other people for your actions or what is happening to you, you give others power over you. Not only will this make you unable to forgive properly, it means that you will never be free to break the cycle. Poverty, addiction, hatred- whatever it is.
You spend time with the wrong people… Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. Family or friends! If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to beg to be accepted or appreciated, neither should you have to fight for support or understanding. Time you spend on these people will be wasted (you know who I mean), and any hate or anger inside you will only hurt you in the end. Face it. Either, balance needs to be restored- or you need to cut your losses and move on.
You are in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere… It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
You apologize for yourself… Please just stop. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it. Quit depreciating your skill set, values, and achievements in front of others. Who is going to respect you if you obviously don’t respect yourself?
You’re stuck in the past… I saw a quote recently “don’t look back- you’re not going that way.” If you’re stuck re-living the past (positive or negative) it means you simply aren’t living in the present. And that means you are missing out. Not being present ensures you miss out on simple joys ,and everyday goodness that will brighten your day or touch your life. If only you were able to be present to appreciate it…
You try to buy happiness… Many things we want are expensive. And yes, shopping and living the high life can be fun. Although, the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are FREE- love, laughter, integrity and working on our passions. Focus on those things right there, and you are on your way to full and happy life.
You fear being direct… Say what you mean and mean what you say, gosh darn it! Talk with the person you have an issue with. Avoid passive-aggressive tactics: talking to everyone else under the sun except that person. Yes confrontation can be terrifying, but the truth will set you free.
You waste time… In the wrong relationships. In the wrong job. Doing idol things. Perhaps you sit playing Xbox all weekend. You postpone getting in shape, reading, interacting with friends and family- activities that are a crucial for a healthy lifestyle. Wasting time means you are postponing true fulfillment and happiness.
The tender mercy in all this is that yes, you are a free, completely capable and strong (although you may not see it yet) human being! And, the time for change is NOW. Not tomorrow. Not after the next work party. Now. Start afresh and just go make yourself proud.
The floor is yours…
How have the struggles above interfered with your life? What stops or has stopped you from becoming the person you want to be? Leave a comment below and share your insights. I love hearing from you!
Also, any lessons from your loved ones that you’d like to share? What other practices do you suggest for evolving and becoming a better person?