I’m probably the worst person to talk to about the joys of pregnancy. I’m not complaining, it’s more a matter of my health and life being jeopardized rather than just feeling queasy. I am definitely not ‘glowing’ nor ‘feeling at the pinnacle of womanhood’ like many other women. With sickness, pre hypertension and a one year old to care for, it’s like I am having to find a whole new set of survival skills.
The latest addition to my pregnancy woes? Panic attacks. No joke. I mentioned it in my last post. They are quite random, and my Doctor seemed so blasé when I informed her of these “episodes”, when I suddenly couldn’t breathe, started sweating and felt faint for no apparent reason. The first time occured after walking up the stairs. Second whilst making scrambled eggs. Third, walking from the kitchen to the car. Skip to the most recent- getting ready for bed.
Just another curved ball my pregnant body wants to throw at me. Crazy.
So, what’s the plan to deal with it all?
Accepting Help– No more of this “thanks, but I am ok” business. If someone I trust offers to watch Elizabeth for an hour or two, so I can sleep, work or throw up in peace, by all means, take her!
Screen Time– I usually shy away from screen time, but I am in survival mode. A second episode of Sesame Street will not ruin Elizabeth’s chances at Yale. Temporarily getting a little extra help from Elmo and Big Bird, has recently been the difference between spending the day exhausted and unkempt, or energized enough to shower or make dinner.
Art– There is still enough artistic skill left in my from my high school days (believe it or not I used to paint), that we can colour, etch-a-sketch and paint quite successfully. My daughter loves painting, drawing with crayons is ok, but painting is the bomb.com.
Me Time- Is ‘me time’ a myth once you become a parent? Yes, I think so. It basically means things you always used to do before children, but now the activities are no longer convenient. Such as: showering, painting your nails, taking a dump… etc etc. However, heading up to bed earlier is enabling me to relax, ponder, read and pray. Those things really heal my soul. Currently studying the Old Testament for my personal scripture study. Which is amazing! I really love the Old Testament, plus reading it along with a study manual gives fascinating insight into the history and culture. For my own pleasure, I finished all of the Roald Dahl classics last week and decided I needed to re-acquaint myself with a dear friend, and first love, David Copperfield. At the age of 9, this book was the first book to ever make me both laugh and cry. And, David has had a special place in my heart ever since.
Any other ideas? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Basically, I realized feeling guilty about ‘neglecting’ Lizzy or the chores is a waste of my limited energy. I’m still doing my best. I’m still having many good moments and some good days. Revising my thinking and utilizing my resources are my best bet to a happier pregnancy, hopefully less panic attacks, and a healthy family.