I’ve been feeling ever so empowered today. And, I think it it’s because I listened to my heart and did something for me. Don’t get me wrong- motherhood is amazing- but sometimes you need to rest from the endless demands of others and refill the oil in your own lamp- even if it’s for a moment! And that’s what I did. I remembered what I believe and why. Call it what you will, pondering, meditation, whatever. I decided that I need to post this, maybe the notion will recharge your batteries like it recharged mine.
First and foremost, I believe God lives. Second to that I honestly believe in being the best you can be. That anything is possible. That the arts enrich the soul, miracles happen, the dryer eats a sock every time, people are essentially good, soy milk is disgusting, you’ve matured a bit when you begin to agree with your parents, that we have the power within us to choose and various other things. I also believe that the key to true happiness is having a solid foundation of self worth. I know all these things are possible, and I hope you do too!
A while ago, I had lost myself. Yep, me. Tash, the strongest of the strong. I had a rough pregnancy towards the end, plus a lot of crazy post partum issues. I went from being your typical type-A- marathon running control freak to a shadow of my former self. I was exhausted emotionally, physically and spiritually. Our families live far away and for the first time in my life I was fat and miserable. I didn’t enjoy motherhood. Although, I lied to nearly everyone that I did. I lost my self in the exhaustion of keeping up appearances to those around me. Especially those who only checked in due to nosiness rather than genuine love. Let’s be real. It was a dark time. It wasn’t till my body finally healed (13 weeks post partum), that I fully embraced my new role as a stay at home mum. It was never in my plans you see. If you’d have said to me 6 years ago that today I would have moved between England and America 4 times, be married, be one semester away from graduating college, living in California with my British husband and baby girl, I would have laughed in your face. I was the shy girl who wished to stay in her hometown forever. If I ever went, I was going to graduate college. And no way would I have wanted to be preggo 6 months after getting married… Just goes to show that God has his own plan for our lives. And he will stretch, polish and humble us. I’m proof of that.
Feeling very blessed right now if you can’t tell. Tom is an amazing man and Lizzy, our sweet 6 month old, is the happiest baby I have ever known! She really is the banana to our split. She has her interview with a modelling agency on Wednesday so next time I blog I will let you know how it went! I think the one thing that could prevent her from being signed is her lack of hair… Anyway, I digress. It’s late. I conclude with my hope that all of us can be true to ourselves- not just sometimes, but each day; breathing deeply and living gratefully… I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. The joy is in the journey. Happy new year!